cat

Curiosity won’t kill my cat - he doesn’t give a fuck!

He doesn’t like to cross your path so he’ll never bring you luck.

Something else Ive noticed of which there is no doubt,

He never gets into a bag so I can let him out.

When he comes in late at night I don’t know where he’s been

So I have no way of telling if he’s the cat that got the cream.

My cat’s not some pussy. He doesn’t play with balls of string

Torturing a mouse, he’s brought in the house, is really more his thing!

And my cat’s not a scaredy cat - he’s actually quite hard.

He likes to beat up other cats who dare to cross our yard.

I don’t think my cat would care less if while he is away

The mice they take advantage and all come out to play

I tried to check my living room - was there room to swing a cat?

But when I grabbed him by his tail he was having none of that!

I once put my cat on a hot tin roof for a video collection

But just landed a big vets bill and RSPCA inspection.

My cat likes to be contrary. He’s the sort that likes to stir it

In the TV ad for Whiskas he would say he didn’t prefer it.

And if the police come round our house I know what I must say

If someone down the road has lost their tongue it’s not my cat ….OK!