Mister Barrista

Hello sir. How can I assist ya?

Would you like to check our list sir?

How do you like your cup of coffee?

Short and strong or whipped and frothy?

We have Cafe Mocha - Cafe Matte

Flat black -Flat white and Frappe Latte

Frappuccino, Cappuccino

And one that comes from San Marino.

Macchiato, Hot Cortado

A really strong one called Bastardo!

For those with fingers quick and nimble

An espresso cup - size of a thimble.

How about Americano?

The sort thats drunk on the Sopranos.

Or maybe you don’t want coffee?

Perhaps hot chocolate’s what it should be?

Our chocolate float is really dreamy

Marshmallows , sprinkles, extra creamy!

Just tell us how your milk should be 

Alert us to your allergies

Soya, almond, oats or dairy

(Milk from nuts extraordinary!)

Low fat, full fat in the middle?

A no-fat one that looks like piddle!

Or maybe fruit juice, smoothie slushie

Kiwi, banana extra mushie?

Mango, strawberry, blackberry, peach

A fruit cocktail one with a bit of each?

Bottled water of course thats fine

Sparkling/ Still? a twist of lime?

I hope sir that you have also seen

That we’re both ethical and green.

We’re sure you want to save the planet

Climate change - we’d like to ban it!

We’ve got our own green action plan

Your purchase helps orangutans!

And when you pick your order up 

It all comes in a recycled cup!

Use your own cup? Of course thats fine

(More money saved from our bottom line)

Don’t worry how our coffee’s made

Our Rainforest Blend is all Fairtrade!

We follow strict production rules

The farmers kids all go to schools

Make a donation when you pay 

We’ve greenwashed all your guilt away.

And to show you’re held in high regard

There’s extra points on your loyalty card.

Perhaps you’d like something to eat?

You look like you deserve a treat.

Go on indulge yourself a little 

Cookie, flapjack, peanut brittle?

Or how about a Danish Whirl

Chocolate Muffin, Cinnamon Swirl?

Perhaps a life story to be told

Millionaire’s Shortbread or Rocky Road?

Our highly trained team of young baristas

are standing ready to assist ya

And so sir what do you think it’ll be?

Oh right, thats all?……… Just a cup of tea?